A new life would be nice. Taking some elements of the old one along would be necessary. Abandoning ship and running away would be a little silly at this point in my life. Wouldn't be the first time, though.
Having created a life that has been a complete anchor for the last twenty years seemed okay for a while, but more like a trap for the last five years. Heavy obligations aren't easy to blow off. I really don't need much, but I need something. I have a few good friends, but none are closer than five hours away. I will be seeing them in a few weeks. A little space between me and the world I live in and have created will be a good thing and hopefully not too late.
The longer days have helped and pursuing outside interests has been helpful in my recovery from one of the darkest depressions I have ever experienced. I have to credit A with being a lifeline. Had she not been there I would not likely be here at all. I can never repay her, nor would she probably let me, but I will always be in her debt and grateful for her companionship. I hope I did her no harm through everything. She will always have a special place in my heart and in my mind.
I can't predict what the future will bring, but I will check in from time to time. It has been fun getting to remember some special people in my life and getting to know a few new special people. I wouldn't have thought they were out there, but they were. Spring is a time of rebirth and growth. I am long overdue for both.