Tuesday, December 27, 2016

You walked in

You walked in to the store. When you saw me you gave me that warm smile and you looked so beautiful that I wanted to shove everyone out of the way just to be near you. Of course I didn't and I had to leave in order to keep it together. I was already late getting back to work and I wandered back to my vehicle in a daze. I so much wanted to just hold you and not let go and was ready to make a fool of myself over you in front of all those people. My feelings for you are too strong. I'm not supposed to do this and can't imagine you could come even close to feeling the same way. My heart was breaking and I had to pretend everything was okay. It isn't.

You have always taken the high road in our friendship and never led me on or implied anything beyond that. I go along with that as I don't want to lose that friendship. It means so much to me at this vulnerable time in my life. You are wise beyond your years and gifted much more than you have shown.

The difference in our ages is something I use for defense. As an idealist I know it shouldn't matter, but as a pragmatic person I know that for anything deeper and longer lasting it does matter. You wouldn't want to be left alone too soon in your life. The difference between The Donald and Melania is greater, but I am not a billionaire. I am barely a thousandaire.

Hope I haven't scared you away.

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