It's cold and lonely here. All I seem to have are memories to keep me warm. People are nice enough, but can't be depended upon. There is only me for that.
I don't know how to gracefully end a relationship. Maybe just go away, but that leaves so many things hanging and I have responsibilities that will get dumped on someone else. I don't want to do that to anyone, but I can't seem to leave. The guilt would kill me or make me kill myself, I just don't know. Of course, that is the quick and easy way out.
My dreams are becoming unreachable and impractical, slowly being snuffed out by reality. When they're gone, then what? Maybe there is too much Walter Mitty in me. Sometimes I feel as though I am losing interest in the few things I used to enjoy. Just getting tired now. Is there any point to going on? I don't know, but my curiosity about what is around the bend hasn't let me down yet. I just don't know where to go and with only 20 or 30 years left what would be useful and fulfilling?
Having someone warm to share it with would be nice, but it may not work out that way. As far as the grass being greener I have doubts as to there being any grass at all. Again, that is only the stuff of dreams.