Wednesday, October 12, 2016

New friends

 I have found a friend who I have let into my private world. She has helped me to settle my restlessness and given me a focus that has eluded me for a while. She is a friend of E of earlier posts and is aware of the mind trap I fell into. Stepping back and being able to see obsessive thinking for what it is and correct it is a difficult thing to for some of us. Her openness,  friendship, and understanding are a rare quality in human beings.

I have known A for a while, but just in passing. I don't know or remember exactly when or why we opened up to each other, but have confided in a level I have only gotten to with a handful of people in my entire life. We have dabbled in dream interpretation and commented on political debates which has been a hoot.

I started this blog because I was troubled and looking for a way to resolve or cope with my home situation, which will eventually work itself out. It is no bed of roses, but what is? I have a confidant with total mutual trust about our personal foibles and weaknesses and likely our strengths. This is a very good thing.

While our face to face contact is not very regular we have been pretty good at writing quite regularly. It doesn't matter much, frankly, but she is easy to look at when we do meet. I think those brown eyes could melt the coldest heart, but I digress. There is so much I could say about her, but it might embarrass her as she has read this blog and may read this entry. I'm just putting it out there.

There are still a few old girlfriends to write about even though almost all of them were long ago. Most of the memories are sweet and most of the people are still alive. I even have an idea of what became of them. In most cases lives turned out okay, but not always. There are no guarantees in this world and the outcome is always final. In the meantime I wish you all find a good friend or two in your journey. We should all be so lucky. As Humphrey Bogart said at the end of Casablanca,  “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”    

Sunday, October 2, 2016


I met her over the phone at work. She was a receptionist and clerk at a copier company and we had talked about once a week for over a year before I met her in person at a trade show. She was a petite blonde and pretty cute with an endearing smile. Not a ravishing beauty, but we had a lot of interests in common and a similar viewpoint on most things.

We were both Neil Young fans and eventually I would bring my guitar to her place and we would sing along with or without the record. We also enjoyed smoking a little weed and laughing together. After a year or so I felt like I was falling in love with her, but she had one serious hangup that would prevent it. An old boyfriend that she still carried a torch for. He would show up once or twice a year, sleep with her and then be gone again without so much as a word in between. She just could never get over him.

Once I had a little too much to drink and ended up at her place confessing my love and making an utter fool of myself. She explained that her heart belonged to another even five years after they had broken up. She put me to bed on her sofa and fed me some breakfast in the morning.

We still saw each other and did stuff, but eventually an old friend from college, Donna, came back into my life and Katie slowly faded away.

Years later I found that she would sometimes come visit the area where I lived. She was with her family, her husband, and their twins. There was something major going on so that I was unable to get away to visit her, but we have found each other and renewed our friendship on Facebook. She is a grandmother now, but still cute and friendly with the same winning smile. The weird thing about the guy she eventually married is that if we stood side by side I am sure someone would think we were brothers. Who knows, maybe love is all about timing.