Tuesday, August 2, 2016

E AGAIN

Dear e,

I thought I was getting past the infatuation part and I think I probably am as I don't feel physically sick when I think about you. If I let my mind dwell on you then it will creep back in, but it is less now. Maybe it will be easier to have a normal friendship with you. This decrease in intensity of feelings is a relief, but if I get feeling lonely I still want to be with you. Knowing it can't or won't happen doesn't make it better, just makes me feel a bit sad. Being friend-zoned isn't the worst way to be, but it is what must be.

Helping you move was an honor. I thought the four of us did quite well and I was surprised by the relative ease of the process. I hope you enjoy your new digs. All I have to do now is think of some activity we can do in a group. I think you would shy away from the two of us doing something together. I probably should, too. It might be harder on me than I think. Probably not on you, but you might feel a bit awkward. I don't want to do that to you. You've got your own problems.

I'll try and leave you alone for a while. Maybe you'll miss me. I always miss you.

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