Thursday, July 28, 2016

Unrequited love/ Friend zone

Dear e,

I remember when you first introduced me to your father. You first asked if I noticed the family resemblance, but any time you walked in the door the light was on you and the rest of the people and surroundings just faded into the background.

Today he came in for a few things and I recognized him right away, calling him by name. Pretty impressive, eh? He does look like you only older and less feminine, of course. I guess the nut doesn't fall far from the tree. The handful of months that have passed since first meeting him has been enough to get past the not recognizing anyone else's existence so the pain of not being able to be with you is lessened. Yet, you are still constantly in my thoughts.

Maybe I am getting past the infatuation part. You know, the one that makes my stomach hurt when I can't be
near you. I can't believe that still happens at my age. I am trying to get used to the fact that as long as I am married there is no hope of a relationship. Do I want to chuck my life, such as it is, for the chance of happiness in my later years? Or do I want to stay in a blah relationship with economic security and never experience real love again.

Do I want to be a disappointment to everyone or just myself? You seem to be outwardly able to keep me in the friend zone, but when you confide in me I think maybe you are really in more need of my company. If I were free would you give me a chance? I know you've been burned before. We all have by this time in our lives, but we still are drawn to that fire. To make that kind of connection with another human being is the most we can hope for in this life. As the president remarked and wrote about the audacity of hope  want to experience the audacity of love. I don't know if it would work, but I think that taking the chance of something like that isn't one I would regret.

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