You probably wonder why a guy married for over 30 years still thinks about old girlfriends. Maybe because my marriage always gave me doubts. Rather than jump in and out of it I decided to stay. There must have been reasons.
I lived with my spouse for a few years before we got hitched. I moved out for about 9 months once because of that trapped feeling one can get. I had doubts, but got over them and didn't see anyone else so I figured I might as well go back. Besides I was spending half my time at her place anyway.
When we got married it was a smallish informal wedding with good food and a nice serene setting. We immediately set out on our honeymoon determined to get away fast. We were exhausted and found a cheap little motel that wasn't anything I would recommend, but any port in a storm. It was early spring and we drove hard the next day out to the mountains to stay at a hot spring resort.
We did some recreational drugs back in those days. Mostly just marijuana, but a little speed and extremely rarely LSD. Someone gave us a couple of hits of LSD and we took them along. For those of you who have never used the stuff it is usually good to be in a good mood, relaxed and have a plan or two of what you would like to do. A walk through the woods or hanging around with your friends, maybe listening to a little music. Going to public places is not always a good idea unless a lot of other people are in the same condition. I digress.
We get checked in to our room and after driving all day I thought it would be good to relax, get a bite to eat, and take it easy for the evening. Maybe make passionate love to officially consummate our marriage. This was her third and my first so I guess it meant more to me. She popped the acid before we were unpacked and after a while I begrudgingly did the same. We were up all night, of course, running around in a strange place, but it was late spring and there weren't too many people around.
I should have known then what her priorities in life would be. The alcoholism that surfaced a few years later should have been no surprise.