Saturday, July 23, 2016

Andie

I live with two very smart women. I am married to one and the other is a good friend who lives in the downstairs suite (a fancy word for the basement bedroom and bathroom). I think they keep me around for brawn and eye candy, but as the years pass I am less sure of that position.

 After this last trip abroad I realized that they still want to keep me around for a while, so I must still be useful. I don’t get to travel much, as the last time was six years ago. After coming back I confessed to having “fallen in love” with three German women one day.

 They worked on the farm I stayed at in Northern Iceland and I found them to be smart, kind, and attractive and, of course, much younger than me.  It was one of those, “If I were single and twenty years younger,” moments that occur now and then. Nothing ever comes of those moments except in the movies and with politicians. I do have a grip on reality, you know. 


To make a long story longer, neither of the home girls particularly like to fly (to put it gently) over great distances, so they came up with a good plan to make sure I came back. You all must know that European women are exotic and attractive and there is always a possibility, although extremely remote, that I might be attracted to one. To counter this possibility they recruited their (and my) friend Andie. Recruited may not be the right word as I am normally not a conspiracy theorist (unless all the evidence points to it), but somehow she became my travel buddy. It was a brilliant move on their part. Andie is attractive, very smart, talented, young, strong, and kind and the plan worked. I barely noticed the rest of the women in Europe, except for one who was about 6’6” tall. I was even returned in better condition than when I left. Amazing!


Being a man there are some things beyond my scope of understanding, like the strength and power of women. Why they are not in charge of the planet I don’t know, but they cannot possibly do worse than the men in charge if for no other reason that women aren’t as full of crap as men.

Andie is still my friend, too! While I do desire her in the usual ways I don't believe she desires me back in the same way. We talk or email sort of regularly and we do rely on each others experiences to help out with problems. It doesn't get too personal, though. I mean she doesn't want to hear that my wife's desire fizzled out two decades ago, but mine didn't. It sucks to be me.

Sometimes I talk to Andie just to get my  head out of the clouds. She will distract me from whatever endless loop of thought I am in. Like if I have a temporary crush on some attractive and intriguing woman. Just talking to her will snap me out of it, at least for a while. Being married is a big turnoff to other women, so I am upfront about it when I need to be. It helps to make them not want to get too close. That tears me apart sometimes, but it is still the right thing to do, I guess.

The downside of Andie is that she lives a long way off and I only get to see her once or twice a year. Probably just as well to help keep me from getting too attached to someone I can't have. That's just the way it is.

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